Not My Will

Since the launch of Mantled Mama, I’ve been wrestling with what I wanted it to be versus what God wanted it to be. The wrestle wasn’t always conscious, but it was always internal between my mind and my heart. Proverbs 16:9 tells us that: “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” So where I truly desired to be obedient, I had to surrender what I knew to do His will. I thought that I had to have everything ready before launch in order to prevent failure but the only real way I could/can avoid failure is depending on Him. To trust that what He gave me wouldn’t fail.

To be real with you, there were moments when I wanted to give up. I felt like I failed. I was disappointed, but that disappointment came from unmet expectations—what I thought this community should look like versus what God was actually building. I had to surrender not just my timeline but my plans too. Because where I wanted comfort, he wanted to confront, because comfort in things outside of Him is really false peace.

Someone very dear to me, a mentor that I deeply respect, told me this: “What you build builds you. So just go.” And that’s where I am now—choosing to keep going with God in the small acts of obedience, even when I don’t have the full picture.

And maybe you’re there too. The truth is, surrendering control isn’t just about letting go of big things—it’s about the daily decisions to place our trust in God instead of ourselves. Scripture shows us over and over that God doesn’t need our striving; He needs our surrender.

When we try to control every outcome, we carry a weight we were never designed to hold. But when we release our grip, we experience His peace. Jesus Himself modeled surrender when He prayed, “Not my will, but Yours be done.” That is the heart posture He invites us into—a trust that His way is better, even when it doesn’t look like what we imagined.

So here I am— BACK LIKE I NEVER LEFT 🤪— still learning to surrender day by day but not hide in (or from) the process. Maybe He’s asking the same of you. If he is, you’re not alone. I share this to let you know that we are in this together. And what He’s building through us is far greater than what we could build on our own.

To trust Him is to trust the process.

Love y’all,

Amanda 💛