Where Did You Bury It?

A Letter to the Mama Who’s Lost Herself

Hey Mama,

There’s a moment in the story of Lazarus that has really been not just relatable but pivotal to me.

In John 11, we see Jesus say, “This sickness will not end in death.” But Lazarus still died. That sentence alone speaks to so much of motherhood, doesn’t it? Because sometimes God speaks a word over us—a calling, a promise, a purpose—and yet we find ourselves walking through seasons that feel anything but alive. We become moms and somewhere in the sacred chaos, something in us still dies.

Our sense of self. Our passions. Our peace. Our dreams. Even our joy. And like Mary and Martha, we whisper, “Lord, if You had been here…”

What stood out to me next was what Jesus said when He arrived: “Where have you laid him?”

Jesus is always asking questions he has the answer to. So my question then is why was He asking?

And I can’t help but wonder if He’s asking you and me the same thing—not because He doesn’t know, but because He wants us to take Him to the place where we laid it down so He can breath on it again.

That piece of ourselves we buried under mom guilt. That calling we put on pause because “now’s not the time.” That woman we used to be—the one we’ve nearly forgotten. What if Jesus is gently asking, “Where have you laid her?” Not to shame you. Not to blame you. But to resurrect you.

Because there’s another part of the story we don’t talk about enough. When Lazarus came out of the grave, he was alive—but he was still bound. His hands and feet were wrapped in his grave clothes. His face was still covered. He had been raised, but not yet released. And Jesus didn’t stop at calling him out. He said, “Loose him and let him go.”

That right there… that’s the part that brings tears to my eyes. Jesus knew that just because he was alive again didn’t mean he could free himself from the garments he was wearing. Jesus knew that resurrection without freedom is still bondage. Still death.

So many of us have come alive again in glimpses—we laugh again, we serve again, we breathe again—but we’re still walking around in grave clothes. Still bound by fear. Still wrapped in old lies. Still wearing labels He never gave us. But the same Jesus who calls you out is the One who wants to unwrap you—layer by layer—until you are no longer just alive, but free.

And Mama, if I’m being honest? That’s exactly where I am right now. I’m in the unwrapping season. The Lord is stripping away the grave clothes from the last chapter of my life. And I use the word stripping because some of it hasn’t come off easy. Some of it, I’ve clung to—not because it was good—but because it was familiar. He’s even asking me to let go of physical things—items I’ve convinced myself I need, or I’ve held onto for sentimental value. But deep down, I know really fear. Fear that I won’t be able to replace it. Fear that I’ll lack what I need. Fear that what’s ahead won’t be enough.

But He’s confronting all of it—not to hurt me, but to heal me. Not to expose me, but to restore me. And He wants to do the same for you.

So, if there’s something you buried—a dream, a part of yourself, a joy you haven’t felt in months… He’s asking, “Where did you lay it?”

Take Him there, Mama.

Because when Jesus shows up, He doesn’t just speak life—He brings freedom with it.

And He’s not finished with you yet.

He’s revealing to redeem!

With love and grace,

Amanda 💛